Asheville native,  long time Gurp City South collaborator & burgeoning super-producer Commissioner Gordon has returned to his adoring public and is getting a lot of love in the blogviroment with his latest single and continuing collusion with eastern Carolina’s current apex predator King Mez. This track is merely the lead off to another album featuring said partnership titled “My Everlasting Zeal”.  You may know the Commish’s handiwork from such grammy worthy endeavors as Weekend Cult’s (formerly Fist Fam) “SF Bay”, and together with Mez they may be, dare I say the best rapper-producer duo since Primo & Guru. So grab this free download & peep the skill set.

http://www.audiomack.com/song/king-mez/monte-carlo

While I am normally no big fan of  re-posting, something new has come to my attention that I simply couldn’t keep to myself . As some of you know TopR, Smidi, Adam Strange, the Snow Shark & I do a radio show every Thursday night known as Worst Case Scenario(10pm-12 on Ashevillefm.org), in which we get drunk & make each other, celebrities and the day’s current events the subject of merciless ridicule. This show has offended the delicate sensibilities of many listeners, from hippies to Mormons & so on in that fashion. But it seems we have now crossed a new threshold of aggrieved parties. The above clip is from an episode in which we discussed a Tennessee man caught in the throes of orgiastic lust between man & neighbors’ dog. It has been posted to youtube for sometime & hasn’t garnered much attention. But finally, at long last, someone has taken umbrage to our shenanigans and has decided to sit idly by no more. A champion of civil rights, known only by the nom de plume  “DogsNeedPleasureToo” recently left two scathing indictments on the closed-minded hate speech of our staff against what he refers to as “members of a sexual minority”.  Said tirades were  forwarded to my email. In a stunning vindication of Rick Santorum’s views on gay marriage the statements’ author even compares the struggle of practitioners of bestiality  to those of the homosexual community.

While we at WCS and Gurp City South are always delighted to offend, and generally enjoy the criticizm and hostility of the feedback we receive, I really must admit these two completely blindsided me. Though it must be said that this crusader’s oft controversial stance on the love betwixt man & canine notwithstanding, his rather rigid views on trespassing are to be commended. If you’ve not seen it before watch the above footage & then read the below comments. And if you’re still confounded by the plight of poor Adam the German Shepard, there are two more clips from this episode on the video page of this site.

Comment 1:

DogsneedpIeasuretoo has made a comment on Worst Case Scenario – Animal Sex Part 1:

The guy was not fucking the dog, the dog was fucking the guy, the media is lying to call it animal abuse or rape when is obviously not. It can’t be any more clear that it was consensual, the guy all he did was bend over and let the dog do it. If a bitch would have come to the backyard that dog would have done that same and I don’t think anyone would have care that a bitch trespassed to have sex with that dog. I mean I get that tress passing is wrong but people are blowing this news to much…

Comment 2:

DogsneedpIeasuretoo has made a comment on Worst Case Scenario – Animal Sex Part 2:

      It is consensual and not animal abuse, unless letting male dogs fuck a itch
(or a human) is now considered abuse. Is like how homosexuals used to get
charged with bullshit laws for having consensual sex, society tries to punish
sexual minorities with bullshit laws even when those sexual minorities are not
doing anything criminal.
The guy is only guilty of trespassing and indecent exposure and that is it, but
probably he will also found guilty of having homosexual sex and animal abuse.

It’s beginning to appear that  Bored Stiff’s White Mic is running some kind of foot race with Al Lover for most content posted to this site in recent memory. I don’t know what kind of time this guy has on his hands to be recording & releasing this much music, but this kind of work ethic is definitely not concurrent with the title of his latest full length release “Fightin’ Off Success”. For that matter neither is the rather formidable roster of collaborators judging from the track listing. Guests include golden age heavyweights Casual & Sadat X, underground stalwart & Living Legends member The Grouch as well as one of my personal favorites, Gurp City All Star & crime noir author Luke Sick. So Mic, if success is your opponent and this is your idea of fighting it, prepare yourself for a Gerry Cooney sized ass whippin.

Go & get your free download right here:

http://whitemicofboredstiff1.bandcamp.com/album/fightin-off-success

Following the release of what is undoubtedly the definitive musical work on the subject of the relationship between ferret & vegetable ( did you know a group of ferrets is called a business? True story), with the Johnny Appleseed of Gurp City, Z-Man, White Mic returned to the studio with Bay legends Andre Nickatina and Del Tha Funky Homosapien, for a long overdue treatise on loneliness. And as a birthday present for Hitler (I can only assume)  he posted it for free download on 4/20. As usual I was too busy circling the drain to have posted it here on time. But as they say, it’s not a gimmick it’s a lifestyle. So if your drinking problem, nay, adventures are as uproarious as mine & like me missed this one last week. Please have another crack at it…

Link:

http://whitemic.bandcamp.com/

In case you didn’t know, the triple OG homies & Gurp City road dogs The Artifacts are officially back together. After their wildly successful European reunion tour this spring they have headed back to the studio to mount the most earth-shattering comeback since Kenny Powers. I haven’t been this delighted since I decided not to believe the Big Daddy Kane AIDS rumor of the late 80′s (side note: Kane is totally alive, well & HIV-free in the ’012, & I, Foulio am joyfully vindicated).  So in honor of this celebrated return I have posted the “Everyday In the Street Remix” the group’s 1st official video back (well except for that 1 they did for Foul Mouth Jerk’s “Back Up On the Scene” single… and um also that other one they did for the Alcametric clothing Co. “Coming From” ft. Foul Mouth Jerk & some dude in a genie outfit… both of which are available for your viewing pleasure on the video page of this site), from El Da Sensei’s Nu World Order 2 remix project. Also posted below is the link to their 1st official re-Artifactation single “Easter”.

Undoubtedly, the most powerful element of the video is the videological return of the rap game’s most under appreciated mixologist/comedic genius DJ Kaos. The only thing missing is that tribute to the legendary Boyd Jarvis, but nobody’s perfect. So roll a dutch & pour yourself a gin & pineapple & click on them thangs.

Link:

http://soundcloud.com/diamondmedia360/artifacts-easter-prod-by

Sure Andre the Giant has a posse, but TopR Holiday has a fedora and a leather jacket.Somehow he finds it advantageous to parade around looking like the front man for Blues Traveler. Perhaps the underwhelming nature of his appearance leads his opponents to greatly overestimate their chances against what they perceive to be an easy target. Sort of the fashionista’s equivalent to what Southerners refer to as playing “country dumb”.

Well the silly little gambit worked. Because while Richard Cranium gave it a valiant effort with such memorable punchlines as “Cut to the chase, you have an old man’s butt for a face”, the Ogre took this one unanimously in what most of the judges agreed was all 3 rounds. All this happening in the few minutes following a man bursting through the club’s front door & onto the dance floor with his trigger finger blown off from a gun fight that erupted out front as the competition was starting. I’ll save you the gory details but you can find them in a previous entry on this site if need be. I have to give it to Grind Time for setting up some really entertaining battles, as this was my first time attending one of their events live & I was sufficiently impressed. I recommend watching all the battles from the “Nuclear Winter” event. I found the Carter Deems v. Real Talk battle particularly hilarious. Congratulations to my main  damey TopR for bringing home the flawless victory for Gurp City.

The Weekend Cult is on their old-timey video grind with a new vignette that appears to have been shot in the White Chapel section of London during the era of Jack the Ripper’s reign of terror. Or maybe Jay Eazy & that puppet are just creeping me out. Whatever it is, this video is in black & white so you know it’s classy. While no one has ever accused the Cult of being understated, I think this proves that they are men of discriminating tastefulness. They are the Lincoln Continental of the rap game.

In case you are unaware Macon Beatz is the white B.A. Baruckus. If it hadn’t been before, this was proven to the fullest on our recent trip to Tahoe when he drove the Weekend Cult’s already enfeebled tour vehicle, known to friends and aficionados alike as the Chicken Bus through disastrous, white-out blizzard conditions with broken windshield wipers. Enthusiastically proving man’s mastery over the elements, the environment itself & all manner of beast that walks or crawls within it, Macon opened the driver’s side door of the van, sans 4 wheel drive, and sojourned through the Donner Pass with one hand on the wheel & half of his body hanging out of the vehicle for better highway vision. All the while his camera in his left hand taking pictures of his own shit-storm eating grin. It was this harrowing journey that inspired Macon Beatz latest mixtape “The Ultimate Chicken Bus Mix”… Suck it nature.

Link:

http://www.mediafire.com/?3fr2as4rq9ag7tb

Just when you thought the Weekend Cult’s repatriation to the east coast would slow him down the Archduke of new school psychedelia, Al Lover  returns with new co- conspirators. The former guitarist & bassist of the late Bay Area indie-elctro  trio Mist Giant have joined him to form Al Lover & the Haters, bringing you the ever-so-appropriately titled maxi-single “Ballin Chains & B-Movies”. The live instrumentation only adds to Al’s ongoing psyche-rock/boom-bap hybrid that he refers to as garage hop. If you need further clarification on the style of the music, please see the track listing. I believe song titles like “Peyote Spirit Quest” & “Summer Solstice Suicide” speak for themselves as something  Dennis Hooper may have been listening to on his boat ride down the River Styx… So,I don’t know, maybe smoke some DMT and if you’re still functional enough to press buttons on a computer listen to some of this shit.

Link:

http://allover.bandcamp.com/album/ballin-chains-and-b-movies-maxi-single

Subtlety… Nuance… Profundity… are words you are likely to never hear used in relation the music of QM and Pudge. Debauched, Ribald, Eighty sixed, these are terms more closely associated with the aforementioned artists and their body of work. Due to their fastidious commitment to drinking I can only conclude that the title “No SleEP” is reflective of the type of benders for which this album is the germane theme music. In that sense these two are deft master craftsmen in the art of excess, and in the play by play of it’s soundtrack QM & Pudge are the bastard Madden & Summerall of the party.

Acquaint yourself with the “No SleEP” at no cost:

http://qmmusic.bandcamp.com/album/no-slee-p