SXSW Official Mixtape Now Out w/ The Artifacts & Foul Mouth Jerk


As some of you know Fist Fam swam their way around the SXSW Music Festival in Austin this year in a roving pool of Jameson & Lone Star Beer. At some point, on the advice of El Da Sensei I made my way over to the Unique Squared/Quality Control mobile studio bus & spit 32 ounces of cold Henessy into 16 bars of hot math.

That verse (track 15), along with The Artifacts’ “Turn It Out” (track 3) and 29 other tracks full of hungry hooligans got smashed into the “Unique Squared/Quality Control: Official SXSW Mixtape”. Now available to you, the listener right here:

The shit is crackin, I highly recommend it.

Fist Fam Has More Videos Than You

You’re not artsier than the Fist Fam, as evidenced by the fact that they staged this miniature Burning Man Festival of their own, for this video featuring the vocal stylings of Dan Allen. The festival, which I will now baselessly speculate is named Burning Dan– or possibly Burning Fam, will undoubtedly showcase gurp scouts, laser boobs, shroomz & chicken biscuits, and will certainly conform to “Stanford standards.” So until next year’s festival just enjoy this new video “Civilized Freakshow” which I am pretty sure was shot in watercolor, off the brand new Fist Fam album “Posted”.
And if you’re in the Asheville, NC area on June 10th, don’t forget to come to the “Posted” east coast album release party at the Emerald Lounge, brought to you by Gurp City South. Long live the Weekend Cult… SnappyDamnTom.

Bad Guy Wrestler Saves Planet.

While we at Gurp City South are obviously deeply saddened by one of our childhood heroes, Randy Savage snapping into that Big Slim Jim in the sky, we would respectfully posit our theory that it was not so much a loss as a calculated sacrifice.  As we all know, this past Saturday May 21st was predicted by some religious zealots to be the date of the biblical apocalypse. When the world remained for the most part in tact (sorry Missouri), most reasonable people considered it proof of the prophecy’s illegitimacy.

We would counter that the prophecy was true. And that Jesus was attempting to return & cast down the heathens, sodomites, sinners & nonbelievers (basically all Gurp City affiliates & fans) into the lake of fire. But  that OUR Lord & savior, appeared in the afterlife just in time to open up a can of Macho-Madness on the Lamb,  He who is know as I AM. And judging from the above artist’s rendition of these celestial events, we are obviously not the only ones who believe…

First Ricky The Dragon Steamboat, now Jesus. Is there anyone you can’t vanquish? Thank you Macho Man Randy Savage. Thank you.

The Artifacts & GCS Live in L.A.

Here’s some live footage from the “Back Up On The Scene” tour, compliments of Chinky Eyed Prod.( This is Pasadena CA, on NBA All-Star weekend. Caddilac Ron, Foul Mouth Jerk & The Artifacts.
Only vaguely related, while smoking a cigarette in front of the club that night we watched a dude get hit by a car. Despite the drastic Hollywood nature of the action, dude was relatively unfazed & made off on his own two get-away sticks.
Coincidentally my fourth time seeing someone get hit by a car first hand. A couple weeks later in Vegas I came within inches from witnessing my fifth when a dickish Elvis impersonator narrowly avoided impact with a Lincoln in front of the Bridger Inn.

Because Cops Are The New Hype Men

In the words of the recently forcefully uncloseted former mayor of NYC Ed Koch, “make you’re mark ON society, not IN society–wait no, IN society, not ON society–or is it…? Well something like that, you get my meaning”. (actual quote).
Now if I can just get my hands on that anti graffiti poster of with Hector Camacho & that other Spaniard champion… “Take it from the Champs, graffiti’s for chumps!”… I’m lookin at you Lord Top.