Ladies & Gentlemen, THE musical extravaganza of the summer is almost upon us. The Epic mini-festival inside a festival known as Gurp Fest 2012 will undoubtedly make affairs the likes of Bonaroo & the rest seem like turds in a punch bowl. And rightly so, as the awesome power of the Gurp City crew is leveled against the livers of Asheville, during it’s biggest public celebration of the year known as Belle Chere. Beginning Friday July 27th and continuing on to Saturday the 28th, the Emerald Lounge will be presenting members of both the NC & San Francisco branches of the Olympic drinking team known as Gurp City. The line up includes Z-Man, TopR, Weekend Cult, Eddie K, GFE, Foul Mouth Jerk, Free Radio, Al lover & The Haters, as well as a myriad of DJ’s, special guests, hot dog vendors and other various delights. But there will be NO, and I cannot stress this enough, NO fire jugglers/dancers and No fucking hula hoops. Please be sure to pack at least one extra liver, and a change of clothes, as you will surely shit your socks.
While I am normally no big fan of re-posting, something new has come to my attention that I simply couldn’t keep to myself . As some of you know TopR, Smidi, Adam Strange, the Snow Shark & I do a radio show every Thursday night known as Worst Case Scenario(10pm-12 on Ashevillefm.org), in which we get drunk & make each other, celebrities and the day’s current events the subject of merciless ridicule. This show has offended the delicate sensibilities of many listeners, from hippies to Mormons & so on in that fashion. But it seems we have now crossed a new threshold of aggrieved parties. The above clip is from an episode in which we discussed a Tennessee man caught in the throes of orgiastic lust between man & neighbors’ dog. It has been posted to youtube for sometime & hasn’t garnered much attention. But finally, at long last, someone has taken umbrage to our shenanigans and has decided to sit idly by no more. A champion of civil rights, known only by the nom de plume “DogsNeedPleasureToo” recently left two scathing indictments on the closed-minded hate speech of our staff against what he refers to as “members of a sexual minority”. Said tirades were forwarded to my email. In a stunning vindication of Rick Santorum’s views on gay marriage the statements’ author even compares the struggle of practitioners of bestiality to those of the homosexual community.
While we at WCS and Gurp City South are always delighted to offend, and generally enjoy the criticizm and hostility of the feedback we receive, I really must admit these two completely blindsided me. Though it must be said that this crusader’s oft controversial stance on the love betwixt man & canine notwithstanding, his rather rigid views on trespassing are to be commended. If you’ve not seen it before watch the above footage & then read the below comments. And if you’re still confounded by the plight of poor Adam the German Shepard, there are two more clips from this episode on the video page of this site.
DogsneedpIeasuretoo has made a comment on Worst Case Scenario – Animal Sex Part 1:
The guy was not fucking the dog, the dog was fucking the guy, the media is lying to call it animal abuse or rape when is obviously not. It can’t be any more clear that it was consensual, the guy all he did was bend over and let the dog do it. If a bitch would have come to the backyard that dog would have done that same and I don’t think anyone would have care that a bitch trespassed to have sex with that dog. I mean I get that tress passing is wrong but people are blowing this news to much…
DogsneedpIeasuretoo has made a comment on Worst Case Scenario – Animal Sex Part 2:
It is consensual and not animal abuse, unless letting male dogs fuck a itch (or a human) is now considered abuse. Is like how homosexuals used to get charged with bullshit laws for having consensual sex, society tries to punish sexual minorities with bullshit laws even when those sexual minorities are not doing anything criminal. The guy is only guilty of trespassing and indecent exposure and that is it, but probably he will also found guilty of having homosexual sex and animal abuse.
Gurp City South's Late Xmas
Thursday, December 29, 2011
9:00pm - All Ages
Grey Eagle (map)
185 Clingman Ave
Asheville, NC, USA 28801
Fist Fam, Foul Mouth Jerk, TopR, The Ville Boyz, DJ Football & Youngin Go Hard invite you to their ALL AGES Christmas Party 2011 at the Grey Eagle. Dec. 29
Now that my week of slacking is over it’s time to get back on my posting grind. It is in that spirit that I give you the last installment of our deep, penetrating probe on the physical act of love with man’s best friend & other quadrupeds. This clip includes a call-in from an audience member with a suspiciously extensive amount of information to share on the topic. Far be it from me to call into question the proclivities of Worst Case Scenario listeners. I’m not here to judge, merely to assail character, slanderously accuse, and sometimes impune. With any luck there will be more highlights soon to come, on topics other than the salacious treatment of cherished family pets. But that may be a rather ambitious hope for the breadth of our subject matter. For some reason this clip of pt.3 is accidentally labeled as pt.2… nonetheless it is actually pt. 3
Continuing with Worst Case Scenario’s hard-hitting, in-depth investigation of the forbidden love between man and dog, this second chapter leads us to find that answers to our previous questions only lead to more questions. Our engineer Adam Strange manages to find the actual news footage of the Memphis canine sex caper, and we get to hear the story first hand from the dog’s owner, bringing to light some ironic turns in the story and one twist that is worthy of M. Night Shyamalan. If you would like to listen the episode in it’s entirety you can follow the link below. Otherwise without further ado…
After marking the 2 year anniversary of Gurp City South’s online radio program Worst Case Scenario we finally launched live video streaming of each week’s episode via Twitter, which may turn out to be a brilliant stroke of marketing or a fatally stupendous error depending on how the broadening audience reacts to the myriad of retarded conversations & activities intrinsic to the staff of our show. Such behavior clearly exemplified by the 2nd week of live video broadcasting when co-host Hollywood Cole, showing up adrift on Jameson, subsequently put me in a headlock & jail raped my face by licking my beard 7 separate times. A gesture that from my perspective would have gone gleefully unviewed by the listening audience, but appeared to be a career highlight in the questionable opinions of my co-conspirators.
A secondary benefit of the video feed is that we get to chop up some of the funnier segments into short, digestable pieces. Which brings us to today’s post, the 1st of a hopefully consistent series of Worst Case Scenario highlight reels on GCS. Herein part 1 of a conversation about a man in Memphis, TN caught in the throes of passion with his neighbor’s dog. If you enjoy, the show can be listened to live every Thursday from 10pm to midnight on
or you can just go to the archives on said page at anytime during the week for that week’s episode. To watch live or to check out previous episodes via twitcast check us out here:
In the first year of broadcasting Wost Case Scenario we often assumed that we would be kicked off the air largely for the slapdash, lackluster, obnoxiously negligent manner of the show, or perhaps just because of the sheer heroic volume of wanton on-air drinking by the cast. In year two, between the shameless sexual harassment of female callers by poorly impersonated versions of Sean Connery & Morgan Freeman, and attempts to get grown women to text sweet booby shots to our 15 year old Hungarian intern, we began to appreciate the likelihood that our defrocking would could come on the heels of possible criminal charges.
It is only now in the onset of our third year on the air that our shenanigans have really begun to hit their stride so to speak, perfecting the art of pushing the envelope of bad taste right to the razor thin borderline of obscenity and/or pornography and the outright corruption of a minor, without crossing over. Congratulations us. As promised the link below is part 2 of the 2 year anniversary episode featuring members of the Fist Fam & others. Thank you for supporting the foolish absurdities of a gang of reputed wise crackers and the questionable buffoonery of known punchinellos.
So as you can probably tell from my victory pose in the above cherished moment from the Gurpocalypse show, this winning shit feels pretty god damned good right now. It’s like being wrapped in a snuggie made out of titties that taste like birthday cake. Hosting Worst Case Scenario, the drunkest & surliest talk radio show on all of the internet was already quite a loftily dubious honor. But celebrating our two year anniversary as the #1 show on the station… priceless. Who would’ve thought that gathering a cadre of reprobates, misanthropes and repeat felons around a case of beer and a bottle of Jameson for the purposes of spirited on-air debate and libelous hate-speech would find a home in the hearts of so many?
On that note I have to thank all our listeners & supporters that have kept us on the air for way longer than I ever expected, and also to our bosses at ashevillefm.org & their sick sense of humor, for putting us on the air and risking possible legal action every week by leaving us there. Since the Anniversary episode aired a few weeks ago featuring guest appearances from former cast members & most of the Fist Fam, I have been receiving calls & messages from people demanding I re-post it somewhere. Apparently folks are quite fond of this one, so I chopped it into the three talk segments and between the weekly free music drops I will be posting the pieces here over the next week or so.
Anyway, click the link below & give a listen to part 1 of what some have been calling our funniest episode to date. And If you enjoy it spread the word, re-post etc. You can listen to Worst Case Scenario live every Thursday from 10pm-midnight (east coast time) on Ashevillefm.org. Each episodes archive is available to listen to all week on the WCS page of the station site.
Worst Case Scenario 2yr Anniversary episode pt1:
As the summer of GurpStock comes to a close, we end it by blowing the cap stone off the motherfucker. The Fist Fam returned home for the wedding of GCS’s stalwart crew DJ, Football (you may recall him from his picture, curled up on the floor in front of the toilet in another post on this site). And we felt this would be the perfect opportunity for the whole crew to get together for our first all Gurp City South bill at Asheville’s largest music venue The Orange Peel.
As usual the weekend started early, on Thursday night with the 2 year anniversary episode of our radio show “Wost Case Scenario” with an all star cast of guests and former staff members of the show. The night was nearly spoiled by the misguided caper of one kleptomaniacal floozy once again proving that you can’t trust a big butt & a smile attempting to Ocean’s 11 a pair of 12 packs out of my fridge. Lucky for me I am the Lester Freemon of the sauce, and thwarted this silly bitch’s misbegotten heist before a clean get away could be made.
Miraculously though the weekend was a daisy chain of benders, climaxing on Saturday with DJ Football’s wedding immediately followed by the Gurp City South show the entire crew managed to make it to show time with their collective game face on and destroy all four sets. Details of after partying will remain undisclosed to protect the guilty. But on behalf of myself, Fist Fam, The Ville Boyz, TopR Holiday, Adam Strange, Chris Denato and Macon Beats we would like to thank everybody who came out to support the show and congratulate DJ & Jessica Football on an awesome wedding.
Gurp City South Presents Gurp City South
Saturday, September 17, 2011
The Orange Peel (map)
101 Biltmore Ave
Asheville, NC, USA 28801
An All Gurp City South line up at the Orange Peel. Fist Fam, Foul Mouth Jerk, TopR, The Ville Boyz, Adam Strange,0 DJ Football & the return of Macon Beats. ALL AGES! Doors at 10pm goes til 2am.
Come celebrate the release of the Fist Fam EP "Panama Jack" now available for free download on gurpcitysouth.com