Tag Archives: worst case scenario

Whiskey Drinkers & Chicken Shits

The official motto of Gurp City South is “Eat Swine, Drink Shine Everyday”. But perhaps the unofficial motto should be “Whiskey & Wings”, because perhaps the only thing that tops our heroic consumtion of the tarantula juice is the frequency with which the crew convenes to competitively cook & eat enough spicy bird to declare a fowlacaust. What I’m saying quite franlkly is that not only will GCS drink you under the table, we are guarding enough secret recipes that I am confident we will dominate any other rap crew out there in a hot wing cook-off (with the possible exception of El Da Sensei, who cooked the wings in the above art for the single & is a Top Gun level wing man.)

This week’s free single is sort of a dedication to that lifestyle, hence the name “Hot Sauce”. It’s the 1st release off the upcoming collaborative EP by Foul Mouth Jerk & Gus Cutty titled Scofflaw which is entirely produced by Grand Invicible’s DJ Eons. The EP, perhaps not coincidentally, was recorded entirely over a 2 day period during Thanksgiving weekend in San Francisco, fueled by a steady intake of leftover baked ham sandwhiches & tallboys.  All of which may pave the way for Gurp City’s motto for 2013 “Food, Booze & Shroomz”. Buckle up

Link: http://www.audiomack.com/song/gurp-city-south/hot-sauce-ft-philo

D.I.Y. or Die

That’s right Gurp City artists are independent as fuck… not so much because of any high minded artistic integrity, mostly because we’ve burnt far too many bridges for anyone  to ride with us. But the motivation as to why we do everything ourselves is neither here nor there. The point I’m trying to drive home to you here is that Gurp City is outchea accomplishing an astounding amount of work for a bunch of grumpy,drug addled, disreputable booze hounds. And this Philo produced first single featuring a hook by John Boy, titled “By Myself”off Fist Fam’s upcoming album  is their ode to that work ethic… “Better to show up drunk  than call in sick”.

Free Download:  http://www.audiomack.com/song/gurp-city-south/by-myself

Deeper Than Atlantis

Wandering San Francisco’s Tenderloin district sharing bottles with the city’s disenfranchised while  espousing philosophies like “change comes from within” is what earned J-Eazy the monicker “The Bum Whisperer”. If Bum Whispering were turned into a tandem team sport, the soundtrack to stumbling drunk through the filthy city streets of the Bay, gleefully spreading inebriation & imparting wisdom would clearly be “Just The Way I Am”. Joining J-Eazy in this effort are Free Radio’s John Boy & Weekend Cult’s Philo, who co-produced the track with S.F. underground stalwart Micah Aza. Whether judiciously reflecting on the circumference of the finer sex’s hindquarters, or engaged in deep introspection on the merits of sharing your weed these gentlemen of leisure speak  with the easy assurance of sporting men comfortably floating their way down the lazy river of life… beer in hand.

You could learn a lot from the day drinkers of Jones & Ellis.

Link: http://gurpcitysouth.bandcamp.com/

Take This Job & Shove It

 Oscar Wilde once said “Work is the curse of the drinking class”. Well it’s my opinon that no one making music today quite embodies that sentiment as much as Free Radio, and perhaps this song more than any. The title of their latest single seems pretty self explanitory. “Payroll” is kind of a modern day interpritation of Tenessee Ernie Ford’s “16 Tons”, if you catch my drift. Which I’m guessing you don’t since you’re not an octogenarian. Nonetheless, the song is a brilliant account of the bitter pill most people in this country are swallowing on a daily basis as the overworked & underpaid “heros” of the American salt mine. It’s the lead single from Free radio’s debut full-length Powers That Be and will be followed up by some videos in the near future. So grab this single for your ipod, take it to work and put it on blast while your considering whether or not to choke someone from middle management to sleep if they take that tone with you again. Because as another great philosopher of the late 20th century once asked “Is it in bad taste to wish that your boss would get ass raped?”

Link: http://www.audiomack.com/song/gurp-city-south/payroll

…They’ve Got Enough To Go Around

I’m just gonna come out and say it, perhaps you’ve been feeling the same and just weren’t mentioning it, but I’m really beginning to doubt QM’s commitment to drinking. I speak from both personal experience & anecdotal evidence when I say anyone who is sincere in their efforts to punish the liver for it’s misdeeds really does not work this hard at life. QM has been releasing too much good music both on his own  & collaboratively. Between the runs to the liquor store, the boozing, the romance (if this pimpin goes according to plan), the oversleeping, the hangovers, the quiet shame & self doubt, and the hair of the dog to start it all again, where the fuck does this guy find the time in the day to write & record this all this shit? Listen QM, all I’m saying is I got my fuckin eye on you pal…

All work ethic aside, this new one is called “Juice” off the coming collaborative EP “Take Me To Your Leader” with MacLane, who also produced the beat for it. In addition to tying together themes of scumbaggery with such a nerdy pun for their album title, which between you, me & the internet is some of my favorite shit, I’m feeling this joint because the beat brings together new school sounds with a Schooly-Dish triangle hit & what appears to be a sample of Buffy from the FatBoys beat boxing. Fucking Win. So go click this link I stole off Thizzler & Rec Ya Life.



Kicking Much Ass

  At a space in time where the worse you rap & the more mind numbingly simple your beats are the more popularity you gain, we have reached a new paradigm where whack is the new fresh. Well I, Foul Mouth Jerk, am going to be bold enough to take an unpopular stance and say that I think sucking is really not that cool. I’ll be honest, I’m just not that into it.  If it sucks, I’m probably not going to like it hence I won’t listen to it, put it on this site, or play it on the Worst Case Scenario radio show (every Thurs. 10pm on ashevillefm.org… shameless plug). Now call me a grumpy old fuck, curmudgeon, sourpuss,  malcontent, hater what have you, all of which are fairly accurate descriptions. But personally, and I’m only speaking for myself here,  I’m just more into things that are awesome.  If you prefer sucky to awesome, that’s fine, it’s just another lifestyle choice and far be it from me to judge. But for my money things that kick ass always win over things that suck ass.

So it is in that spirit of supporting things that rule & completely ignoring garbage I present to you  more free music from the homies at Mystika Music. This one is from Tone, another founding member of Western Mass’ Problemaddicts crew. It’s titled “It’s All Love” & is produced by Mr. Green with cuts by another friend of the Gurp, DJ Theory. The single is off Tone’s upcoming solo effort “Admit One”. What I like about this track is that not only does he thank all his true friends who have stuck by him through all the bullshit, but he offers a firm fuck off to all the enemigos that seem to only show up to for the big win. Which I feel only furthers my argument of  Suck v. Awesome.  Enjoy with a friend… a real friend.



The New Civil Rights, Clearly Voiced

While I am normally no big fan of  re-posting, something new has come to my attention that I simply couldn’t keep to myself . As some of you know TopR, Smidi, Adam Strange, the Snow Shark & I do a radio show every Thursday night known as Worst Case Scenario(10pm-12 on Ashevillefm.org), in which we get drunk & make each other, celebrities and the day’s current events the subject of merciless ridicule. This show has offended the delicate sensibilities of many listeners, from hippies to Mormons & so on in that fashion. But it seems we have now crossed a new threshold of aggrieved parties. The above clip is from an episode in which we discussed a Tennessee man caught in the throes of orgiastic lust between man & neighbors’ dog. It has been posted to youtube for sometime & hasn’t garnered much attention. But finally, at long last, someone has taken umbrage to our shenanigans and has decided to sit idly by no more. A champion of civil rights, known only by the nom de plume  “DogsNeedPleasureToo” recently left two scathing indictments on the closed-minded hate speech of our staff against what he refers to as “members of a sexual minority”.  Said tirades were  forwarded to my email. In a stunning vindication of Rick Santorum’s views on gay marriage the statements’ author even compares the struggle of practitioners of bestiality  to those of the homosexual community.

While we at WCS and Gurp City South are always delighted to offend, and generally enjoy the criticizm and hostility of the feedback we receive, I really must admit these two completely blindsided me. Though it must be said that this crusader’s oft controversial stance on the love betwixt man & canine notwithstanding, his rather rigid views on trespassing are to be commended. If you’ve not seen it before watch the above footage & then read the below comments. And if you’re still confounded by the plight of poor Adam the German Shepard, there are two more clips from this episode on the video page of this site.

Comment 1:

DogsneedpIeasuretoo has made a comment on Worst Case Scenario – Animal Sex Part 1:

The guy was not fucking the dog, the dog was fucking the guy, the media is lying to call it animal abuse or rape when is obviously not. It can’t be any more clear that it was consensual, the guy all he did was bend over and let the dog do it. If a bitch would have come to the backyard that dog would have done that same and I don’t think anyone would have care that a bitch trespassed to have sex with that dog. I mean I get that tress passing is wrong but people are blowing this news to much…

Comment 2:

DogsneedpIeasuretoo has made a comment on Worst Case Scenario – Animal Sex Part 2:

      It is consensual and not animal abuse, unless letting male dogs fuck a itch
(or a human) is now considered abuse. Is like how homosexuals used to get
charged with bullshit laws for having consensual sex, society tries to punish
sexual minorities with bullshit laws even when those sexual minorities are not
doing anything criminal.
The guy is only guilty of trespassing and indecent exposure and that is it, but
probably he will also found guilty of having homosexual sex and animal abuse.

Wrong Side At The Right Time

In case you didn’t know, the triple OG homies & Gurp City road dogs The Artifacts are officially back together. After their wildly successful European reunion tour this spring they have headed back to the studio to mount the most earth-shattering comeback since Kenny Powers. I haven’t been this delighted since I decided not to believe the Big Daddy Kane AIDS rumor of the late 80’s (side note: Kane is totally alive, well & HIV-free in the ‘012, & I, Foulio am joyfully vindicated).  So in honor of this celebrated return I have posted the “Everyday In the Street Remix” the group’s 1st official video back (well except for that 1 they did for Foul Mouth Jerk’s “Back Up On the Scene” single… and um also that other one they did for the Alcametric clothing Co. “Coming From” ft. Foul Mouth Jerk & some dude in a genie outfit… both of which are available for your viewing pleasure on the video page of this site), from El Da Sensei’s Nu World Order 2 remix project. Also posted below is the link to their 1st official re-Artifactation single “Easter”.

Undoubtedly, the most powerful element of the video is the videological return of the rap game’s most under appreciated mixologist/comedic genius DJ Kaos. The only thing missing is that tribute to the legendary Boyd Jarvis, but nobody’s perfect. So roll a dutch & pour yourself a gin & pineapple & click on them thangs.



The Ogre Ate Your Lunch

Sure Andre the Giant has a posse, but TopR Holiday has a fedora and a leather jacket.Somehow he finds it advantageous to parade around looking like the front man for Blues Traveler. Perhaps the underwhelming nature of his appearance leads his opponents to greatly overestimate their chances against what they perceive to be an easy target. Sort of the fashionista’s equivalent to what Southerners refer to as playing “country dumb”.

Well the silly little gambit worked. Because while Richard Cranium gave it a valiant effort with such memorable punchlines as “Cut to the chase, you have an old man’s butt for a face”, the Ogre took this one unanimously in what most of the judges agreed was all 3 rounds. All this happening in the few minutes following a man bursting through the club’s front door & onto the dance floor with his trigger finger blown off from a gun fight that erupted out front as the competition was starting. I’ll save you the gory details but you can find them in a previous entry on this site if need be. I have to give it to Grind Time for setting up some really entertaining battles, as this was my first time attending one of their events live & I was sufficiently impressed. I recommend watching all the battles from the “Nuclear Winter” event. I found the Carter Deems v. Real Talk battle particularly hilarious. Congratulations to my main  damey TopR for bringing home the flawless victory for Gurp City.

Nevermind The Swagger, Here’s Macon Beatz

In case you are unaware Macon Beatz is the white B.A. Baruckus. If it hadn’t been before, this was proven to the fullest on our recent trip to Tahoe when he drove the Weekend Cult’s already enfeebled tour vehicle, known to friends and aficionados alike as the Chicken Bus through disastrous, white-out blizzard conditions with broken windshield wipers. Enthusiastically proving man’s mastery over the elements, the environment itself & all manner of beast that walks or crawls within it, Macon opened the driver’s side door of the van, sans 4 wheel drive, and sojourned through the Donner Pass with one hand on the wheel & half of his body hanging out of the vehicle for better highway vision. All the while his camera in his left hand taking pictures of his own shit-storm eating grin. It was this harrowing journey that inspired Macon Beatz latest mixtape “The Ultimate Chicken Bus Mix”… Suck it nature.