Tag Archives: worst case scenario

Kicking Much Ass

  At a space in time where the worse you rap & the more mind numbingly simple your beats are the more popularity you gain, we have reached a new paradigm where whack is the new fresh. Well I, Foul Mouth Jerk, am going to be bold enough to take an unpopular stance and say that I think sucking is really not that cool. I’ll be honest, I’m just not that into it.  If it sucks, I’m probably not going to like it hence I won’t listen to it, put it on this site, or play it on the Worst Case Scenario radio show (every Thurs. 10pm on ashevillefm.org… shameless plug). Now call me a grumpy old fuck, curmudgeon, sourpuss,  malcontent, hater what have you, all of which are fairly accurate descriptions. But personally, and I’m only speaking for myself here,  I’m just more into things that are awesome.  If you prefer sucky to awesome, that’s fine, it’s just another lifestyle choice and far be it from me to judge. But for my money things that kick ass always win over things that suck ass.

So it is in that spirit of supporting things that rule & completely ignoring garbage I present to you  more free music from the homies at Mystika Music. This one is from Tone, another founding member of Western Mass’ Problemaddicts crew. It’s titled “It’s All Love” & is produced by Mr. Green with cuts by another friend of the Gurp, DJ Theory. The single is off Tone’s upcoming solo effort “Admit One”. What I like about this track is that not only does he thank all his true friends who have stuck by him through all the bullshit, but he offers a firm fuck off to all the enemigos that seem to only show up to for the big win. Which I feel only furthers my argument of  Suck v. Awesome.  Enjoy with a friend… a real friend.



The New Civil Rights, Clearly Voiced

While I am normally no big fan of  re-posting, something new has come to my attention that I simply couldn’t keep to myself . As some of you know TopR, Smidi, Adam Strange, the Snow Shark & I do a radio show every Thursday night known as Worst Case Scenario(10pm-12 on Ashevillefm.org), in which we get drunk & make each other, celebrities and the day’s current events the subject of merciless ridicule. This show has offended the delicate sensibilities of many listeners, from hippies to Mormons & so on in that fashion. But it seems we have now crossed a new threshold of aggrieved parties. The above clip is from an episode in which we discussed a Tennessee man caught in the throes of orgiastic lust between man & neighbors’ dog. It has been posted to youtube for sometime & hasn’t garnered much attention. But finally, at long last, someone has taken umbrage to our shenanigans and has decided to sit idly by no more. A champion of civil rights, known only by the nom de plume  “DogsNeedPleasureToo” recently left two scathing indictments on the closed-minded hate speech of our staff against what he refers to as “members of a sexual minority”.  Said tirades were  forwarded to my email. In a stunning vindication of Rick Santorum’s views on gay marriage the statements’ author even compares the struggle of practitioners of bestiality  to those of the homosexual community.

While we at WCS and Gurp City South are always delighted to offend, and generally enjoy the criticizm and hostility of the feedback we receive, I really must admit these two completely blindsided me. Though it must be said that this crusader’s oft controversial stance on the love betwixt man & canine notwithstanding, his rather rigid views on trespassing are to be commended. If you’ve not seen it before watch the above footage & then read the below comments. And if you’re still confounded by the plight of poor Adam the German Shepard, there are two more clips from this episode on the video page of this site.

Comment 1:

DogsneedpIeasuretoo has made a comment on Worst Case Scenario – Animal Sex Part 1:

The guy was not fucking the dog, the dog was fucking the guy, the media is lying to call it animal abuse or rape when is obviously not. It can’t be any more clear that it was consensual, the guy all he did was bend over and let the dog do it. If a bitch would have come to the backyard that dog would have done that same and I don’t think anyone would have care that a bitch trespassed to have sex with that dog. I mean I get that tress passing is wrong but people are blowing this news to much…

Comment 2:

DogsneedpIeasuretoo has made a comment on Worst Case Scenario – Animal Sex Part 2:

      It is consensual and not animal abuse, unless letting male dogs fuck a itch
(or a human) is now considered abuse. Is like how homosexuals used to get
charged with bullshit laws for having consensual sex, society tries to punish
sexual minorities with bullshit laws even when those sexual minorities are not
doing anything criminal.
The guy is only guilty of trespassing and indecent exposure and that is it, but
probably he will also found guilty of having homosexual sex and animal abuse.

Wrong Side At The Right Time

In case you didn’t know, the triple OG homies & Gurp City road dogs The Artifacts are officially back together. After their wildly successful European reunion tour this spring they have headed back to the studio to mount the most earth-shattering comeback since Kenny Powers. I haven’t been this delighted since I decided not to believe the Big Daddy Kane AIDS rumor of the late 80’s (side note: Kane is totally alive, well & HIV-free in the ‘012, & I, Foulio am joyfully vindicated).  So in honor of this celebrated return I have posted the “Everyday In the Street Remix” the group’s 1st official video back (well except for that 1 they did for Foul Mouth Jerk’s “Back Up On the Scene” single… and um also that other one they did for the Alcametric clothing Co. “Coming From” ft. Foul Mouth Jerk & some dude in a genie outfit… both of which are available for your viewing pleasure on the video page of this site), from El Da Sensei’s Nu World Order 2 remix project. Also posted below is the link to their 1st official re-Artifactation single “Easter”.

Undoubtedly, the most powerful element of the video is the videological return of the rap game’s most under appreciated mixologist/comedic genius DJ Kaos. The only thing missing is that tribute to the legendary Boyd Jarvis, but nobody’s perfect. So roll a dutch & pour yourself a gin & pineapple & click on them thangs.



The Ogre Ate Your Lunch

Sure Andre the Giant has a posse, but TopR Holiday has a fedora and a leather jacket.Somehow he finds it advantageous to parade around looking like the front man for Blues Traveler. Perhaps the underwhelming nature of his appearance leads his opponents to greatly overestimate their chances against what they perceive to be an easy target. Sort of the fashionista’s equivalent to what Southerners refer to as playing “country dumb”.

Well the silly little gambit worked. Because while Richard Cranium gave it a valiant effort with such memorable punchlines as “Cut to the chase, you have an old man’s butt for a face”, the Ogre took this one unanimously in what most of the judges agreed was all 3 rounds. All this happening in the few minutes following a man bursting through the club’s front door & onto the dance floor with his trigger finger blown off from a gun fight that erupted out front as the competition was starting. I’ll save you the gory details but you can find them in a previous entry on this site if need be. I have to give it to Grind Time for setting up some really entertaining battles, as this was my first time attending one of their events live & I was sufficiently impressed. I recommend watching all the battles from the “Nuclear Winter” event. I found the Carter Deems v. Real Talk battle particularly hilarious. Congratulations to my main  damey TopR for bringing home the flawless victory for Gurp City.

Nevermind The Swagger, Here’s Macon Beatz

In case you are unaware Macon Beatz is the white B.A. Baruckus. If it hadn’t been before, this was proven to the fullest on our recent trip to Tahoe when he drove the Weekend Cult’s already enfeebled tour vehicle, known to friends and aficionados alike as the Chicken Bus through disastrous, white-out blizzard conditions with broken windshield wipers. Enthusiastically proving man’s mastery over the elements, the environment itself & all manner of beast that walks or crawls within it, Macon opened the driver’s side door of the van, sans 4 wheel drive, and sojourned through the Donner Pass with one hand on the wheel & half of his body hanging out of the vehicle for better highway vision. All the while his camera in his left hand taking pictures of his own shit-storm eating grin. It was this harrowing journey that inspired Macon Beatz latest mixtape “The Ultimate Chicken Bus Mix”… Suck it nature.



The King Is Dead… Long Live The King

  In an auspicious sea change signifying the end of an era, The Fist Fam is no more, it has ceased to be. But belching forth from the cashed ashes of the Fist, like some manner of unseemly, inebriate phoenix, comes Weekend Cult. Composed of a smarter, faster, stronger version of the exact same line up, this group is to the Fist Fam what The Six Million Dollar Man was to Steve Austin. This lofty claim is evidenced by the release of Weekend Cult’s first official body of work, a twelve song collection of the same name. Like many previous sects welcoming new members, easy entree is offered with the “name-your-own-price” option on the group’s bandcamp page, but buyer beware, there will be brainwash. Not since the fiery, apocalyptic  ending of the Branch Davidians has a congregation been so hard to leave. You may have to call the Janet Reno & the ATF to get this music out of your head. Don’t take my word for it, feel free to peruse this review from Asheville’s Mountain X-press music chief Alli Marshall


Once you have become convinced by our formidable propaganda, follow the link below & become a devotee… feel free to earn a place of privilege in the Weekend Cult by donating $30 or more to the faith… or don’t, but remember the Chicken Bus only stops for the believers.



Mary Lou Retton, Bruh!

Next Friday, February 24th at the Elbo Room in San Francisco marks the album release party for the Fist Fam’s latest full length (yes another one) “Weekend Cult”. That being more or less the starter pistol for a string of releases by the Gurp City South Crew. 2012 will see albums from TopR, Foul Mouth Jerk, Scofflaw, The Ville Boyz, the Worst, and possibly more. So in honor of a future that is startlingly bright for a confederation of potential cirrhosis candidates & to educate these young buckets only just now upping themselves on the science of  Gurpology, we take a look back at the history of the Gurp City Crew by posting this link to the in-retrospect-ironically named  “Dead In A Year” a remastered compilation of hits from 1999-2004. This noteworthy collection of classics features the distinguished production high-jinks of Verse Murphy, Z-Trip & Radar as well as the superior rap shenanigans of OG Triple OG’s Brandon B, Eddie K, Luke Sick & Z-Man. Aside from being inundated with an overwhelming amount of gems that would hit just as hard if dropped in the distant future, it contains some of the funniest skits ever put to tape. In particular my favorite skit of all time “Coked Out In The 80’s” , few things are simultaneously this funny & historically accurate. So peep the skit & follow it back to the album, which is amazingly, also available for free download.



Clan of Steel

Has anyone besides me ever wondered in the 21st century, this era of cel phones and the end of the phone booth, where the fuck  Clark Kent now changes into Superman? Which only begs the further question, that since phone booths were made of glass, why did he ever bother to “hide” in one before he changed any way? I mean is it providing any greater subterfuge that  thin air was not? I don’t know, I guess since we as a people patronized him by turning a blind eye to that  masterful disguise of one thin pair of spectacles, we kind of lowered the bar and could expect that kind of lackluster work ethic henceforth. What does any of this have to do with the new Ville Boyz single? Nothing really, just that the title is “Up, Up & Away”  which I guess put me in some kind of pensive mood, contemplating the idiosyncrasies of the Son of Jor-El.

Anyway, the first free single from Gurp City South of 2012 is here & surprise, it’s from The Ville Boyz. Enjoy it in the loving embrace of Earth’s yellow sun.


12/29/11 – Gurp City South\’s Late Xmas

Gurp City South's Late Xmas
Thursday, December 29, 2011
9:00pm - All Ages
Grey Eagle (map)
185 Clingman Ave
Asheville, NC, USA 28801
Other Info
Fist Fam, Foul Mouth Jerk, TopR, The Ville Boyz, DJ Football & Youngin Go Hard invite you to their ALL AGES Christmas Party 2011 at the Grey Eagle. Dec. 29

« Back to the calendar

The End Is Near…But Have some Free Music First

On my recent trip out to The Bay I had the good fortune to sleep off most of my benders  fully dressed, in Ronnie Mac’s lazy boy. One of the fringe benefits of Pappy’s upright slumber suite is that his room mate is S.F. underground stalwart & Gurp City production genius Optik. Probably best  known for producing the entirety of TopR’s “Cheap Laughs For Dead Comedians” album, Optik has also produced UG classics for the likes of Z Man, Fist Fam & more. Shortly after his work on Cheap Laughs he began work on a his own album, featuring an all-star team of the rappers with whom he frequently collaborates. I had the good timing to be in town during a few of these sessions & ended up on a couple of the joints that were recorded for the album. As often happens with independent music some time has passed & for whatever reasons the album has yet to be released. So rather than keep all these gems to himself Optik recently began leaking a few of them on his “The Chillout blog” & soundcloud etc. This week’s release is called “Times”(The End is Near) ft. Foul Mouth Jerk, TopR & Word Smiff. You can can grab the download below along with a few other unreleased Optik rarities.